A Letter to My School District

Dear RSD2,

Thank you for allowing me to have the opportunity to attend one of the finest school districts in the state. In Kindergarten, with Ms. Bartz and Ms. Tony, I was delighted to read and play in the tree house that was inside of our classroom. I got to glue 100 pieces of macaroni to a piece of paper on the 100^th day of school. In first grade, I was taught by Ms. Riley. She was absolutely fabulous and I think she's the only reason I ever wanted to be a teacher. (That changed quickly). I got to make a model of the solar system and I drew a poster for DARE that won a prize. In second grade, I learned from Mr. Saxon that “Quiet means making no noise”. I also learned that if you lean back in your chair in class, you'll get to do it during recess too. I had “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” as a spelling word.

I didn't learn what a preposition is.

In third grade, with Mrs. Williams and Mrs. Washington, I learned about the civil war. I also had “suma”, as in some of as a spelling word. My little heart got it's first glimmer of hope when I learned about nouns and verbs. I made a hot air balloon with my dad for ALERT and my class took a field trip to Charleston.

I didn't learn about adverbs.

In fourth grade, with Mrs. Turner and Ms. Burghardt, I learned about circuitry and waves in science and I learned how to do long division. I made a model of my house for ALERT, complete with lights that turned on and off. I learned about nouns, pronouns, adjectives, and verbs. In fifth grade, with Mrs. Cates and Mrs. Randle, I got to make a model of the ocean floor. In ALERT, we read a book about a boy who started his own toothpaste factory.

I didn't learn what an adjective clause is.

I graduated elementary school, and I thought that I was surely onto a world of better things. In sixth grade, I read the book “The Giver” with Mrs. Black. I learned about nouns, pronouns, verbs, and adjectives. I mummified a chicken in ALERT. In seventh grade, with Mrs. Walsh, I learned what stems are. I can still tell you what just about any stem means. I also learned (again) nouns, pronouns, verbs, and adjectives.

I didn't learn what a direct object or an indirect object is.

In eighth grade, with Mrs. Pace, I learned more stems. We wrote a children's book, complete with illustrations. In ninth grade, with Mr. Ballentine, we read “Lord of the Flies” and turned our classroom into the island. We read another book that I can't remember the name of and had a mock trial during class. In Spanish, I learned that you will likely choke and die if you chew gum while trying to speak Spanish.

I didn't learn what the past progressive or present progressive tenses are.

In tenth grade, with Mrs. Robinson, we read a book about the Chinese New Year and we had a party where we all brought Chinese food to class. We also read “As I Lay Dying” and the image of the little boy with holes in his face after his casket was screwed shut haunts me to this day. In eleventh and twelfth grade, with Mr. Hendrick, we read, and we read, and we read. And then we wrote. And we wrote. And we wrote. I learned vocabulary words that I could neither pronounce nor spell. We spent the whole year preparing for the AP test.

I didn't learn what an independent clause or a dependent clause is.

RSD2, thank you for allowing me to have the opportunity to waste many hours making pointless projects, learning spelling words that weren't even real words, writing paper after paper after paper, reading books that didn't affect my life then or now, allowing me to take trips that I enjoyed at the time, make models of everything under the sun (and even one of the sun). Thank you for allowing me to run on your playgrounds, hangout at your schools, play on your sports teams. Thank you for allowing me to have the opportunity to begin to learn another language. Thank you for instilling stems in my head forever, allowing me glue macaroni onto a piece of paper, and release 100 balloons on the 100^th day of school. Thank you for teaching me to spell, read, and write.

But most of all, RSD2, thank you for not teaching me English grammar. I cannot begin to tell you how much I dread my Spanish grammar class, because I never learned English grammar. Thank you RSD2, thank you.