It’s been awhile. In fact, I know it’s been awhile because my program director (Hi, Elaine!) mentioned to me that it’s been awhile. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had nothing to say or because I’ve had a lot to say and no words to say it.
The past two weeks, my parents have been here. We spent time in Santo Domingo, Santiago and Puerto Plata. I enjoyed having them here, but it opened my eyes to so many things about my own culture that I was unaware of—things that sadden me, anger me, upset me—but ultimately, things that make me who I am. Err, who I was.
I had my exit interview with Elaine after my presentation. (That’s right, my work is ALMOST done). I realized that I’m not ready to leave. I’m not close to ready to leave. And that’s upsetting, because as of today, I have exactly two weeks left. I dread every single one of those days. Rather, I dread every single one of those nights, because I know that that day in it’s entirety has ended.
I got a Facebook message today from my dad’s cousin (my second cousin?) that said, “I've looked at some of your pictures on facebook. You look so happy --I guess you had a great time!”
I can’t remember the last time that I was happy like this. That’s not to say that I’m an unhappy person or that I’m unhappy with my life or anything like that.
At school in the states, I often feel like I’m going through the motions. Every single day is the same. Get up, eat breakfast, go to class, eat lunch, squeeze in a quick nap, go to lab/class/afternoon activity, eat dinner, do homework, go to be. Rinse and repeat.
At school here, although I feel like busy work will always be busy work in whatever language it is, I have had projects, presentations, and assignments that have truly interested me, challenged me, and caused me to question everything on a deeper level. It’s no longer, “Okay, I have to do this and this and this and this. I have to put what the teacher wants to hear to get a good grade. After I take this test, I can forget it all”. I don’t know if it’s the subjects or what, but I don’t want to forget the information I’ve learned.
There’s no going through the motions here. For me, there’s no such thing as a “normal” day. Every day is an experience. Everyday is something new. And every day is one more day that I thank God I’ve had the chance to experience. My eyes have been opened to so many things. I’ve formed friendships and relationships that I cannot possibly forget. I’ve found out things about myself that I was unaware of, due to obliviousness or ignorance. I’ve found out more about who I am, what I want to do, where I’m going, and who I want to go with.
I’m so happy here.
And in two short weeks, I have to leave it all behind.
4 comments:
I'm very impressed with the connection you made with the country... what is your tesis about?, can we some time read it?
Interesante sensación la que describes, me recuerdas la primera ves que fui al campo de mi Madre aqui en RD, al llegar llore porque no me queria quedar cuando se acabo el verano llore porque no me queria ir, que te vayas no quiere decir que olvides. Gracias por apreciar las cosas buenas de este pais.
Kristina, I think this is the best blog post you've done in months. Just saying. It almost kinda sorta makes me want to be a part of the foreign exchange program.
Haha. Just kidding. It does, really. Too bad I'm going to be in grad school after this next semester. Boo! But I can probably still look into it; I might just choose to live vicariously through you. Haha. I really can't wait to hear all about it. Probably take days for you to tell me everything, though; haha.
Anyway...I hope you've been getting my e-mails. I figure this is a good spot to say hi in case they haven't; never know with these thangs.
Hit me back, just to chat, this is yours, your biggest fan
~Joe
You really touched my heart with this thoughtful and sincere expression of what a cultural experience like the one you are having in my country can make such an impact in your life and for instance in the ones who frequently read your great blog.
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